When i woke up yesterday knowing it’s a Saturday, a day which i always look forward to, i know there’s something different about that Saturday. Even when i’m meeting my LG for lunch, i just feel different. I lost my appetite (and i blamed the rice). After entering the auditorium, during prayer meet, i sense strongly that God wants to tell me something about what i had been asking him for the past few days.

Then it was praise, the 1st few tunes i heard, i teared immediately. Not that it’s my favourite praise song, but i just felt His presence filling up my heart. At 1st i felt unworthy, then it was Love, then it was just a girl who wants more from God. She just wants the Father to tell her what’s wrong. She wants Him to fill the emptiness inside, just want a word from Him. She continued to cry after the next praise song, still crying during worship. She doesn’t know why she’s crying. She only felt the very real One. The last time i got this feeling was 2010 Hope conference. But the context was different. This time, God revealed Himself so timely again as if He’s telling me “You just got to believe me”. He convinced me during Sermon. This year, i just learnt so so much about Him when i truly set my mind and heart to read about Him. Thank God i started reading. Or else, even when the Sermon was preached yesterday, i wouldn’t feel as convicted as now.

You know, i love debates. I love it when my opponent has that “i give up, you win” face. But i hate debating when i can’t convince my opponent, as if i’m not fully convinced myself about my own arguments. Then PJ taught about Titus which i quite like the book, and he mentioned about correcting in truth and in love.

I can’t be the Lion, never want to be in fact. But i have to, with Him. I truly dislike debating with knowledgeable people, because i know my language itself already sucks. But God taught me something. It’s not about how knowledgeable you are or how well you speak, it’s about speaking in truth and in love. One can be like the warped person who just want to debate for the sake of debating, but the truth is the TRUTH! If he can share about the truth, that’s great for the LG! But if he distorts the Truth, then that’s when a Lion comes in. Lion gives me an impression that someone got to be the “bad guy”.

I’m always afraid to strain relationships/ leave a bad impression unto others/ offend others/ judge others. We are all judgemental freaks whether you accept it or not. But sometimes, some things you can’t assume either. I guess only when you grow in Him and gain more wisdom from Him, you can discern your assumption better. Then God also revealed to me that you can only speak the Truth only when you know the Truth. So i must invest much time in the WOG! Not to correct people, but to convince myself about the Truth and to understand why is it the Truth!

God is really real in my life. He always speaks to me only after i read about Him. I’m serious. He gave me a new direction this time. I’m still waiting for the full picture though. Meanwhile, today is the last day i would REALLY MUG, until maybe 10 months later? And i’m restricting myself from Fastfood from tmr onwards [ Yes, including kfc porridge :( ]! Then i’ll be running eveyday, sometimes twice a day. For Grad Night, for my health, for my future LOL. If Ris Low can lose 8kg within 2 weeks just by eating an apple a day, i can lose at least 4 kg within 2 weeks just by exercising and eating healthily, right? =)

P.S. Full court is the best when you play with people you enjoy playing with. But i miss my favourites.

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