Prayer & Peace

Those are all i need. God dropped me a word THREE TIMES TODAY! Though it’s kinda late, but when God says it, it’s the best timing already.

Prayer is definitely a motivation. Especially if you’re sincere. It’s like seeing a post-it note on every page of your textbook. It makes you want to continue to study. And once you’ve studied finish 1 page, the post-it note on the next page becomes your encouragement and motivation. You’ll just want to hurry study finish the page you read the post-it note. It works for me.

‘Peace’ was the word that God gave me today. I knew it all along that i should have peace in my heart. But today was a blow. 3 TIMES OKAY! 3 TIMES IN A ROW!!! CONSECUTIVE!!! By voice, by card and by sms. Different type of communication, but still from the same God. I LIKE I LIKE!~

Ms Goh was.. insulting. I have to admit. I thought others were just sensitive. Until she talked to me. But oh well, after i took the paper, i realised format doesn’t matter at all. Mr Guo was just.. TOO COPY CAT. :p But anw, Ms Goh prayed for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. Surprised me because i tot it’ll take a long time, by then i won’t have time to really memorise my formats. Then when it’s my turn, she prayed and she said something about peace. Before she ended off for everyone, something was disturbing me (it was phoebe), but i didn’t want to open my eyes. HAHA.

2nd was the card from Xanthe. Yes, Phoebe was trying to get my attention by shaking the Lollipops. She gave me Lollipop and Xanthe’s card. I was touched, honestly. It’s like another ‘prayer’, another ‘motivation’. As i read the card, i was talking to myself “This cannot be..” “I pray that God will give you His assurance and peace!” was in the card. I almost screamed. HAHA.

3rd was Maverick’s msg. After reading Xanthe’s card, there’s still 15 minutes left till the paper starts. So i decided to see my phone for last words. And i saw his msg. Philippians 4:6-7. “…And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding..” Again! This time i got excited. And indeed, i feel a sense of peace in my heart because God has obviously shown his presence. I was reassured even more.

Somehow, i still can’t memorise though. At least i know i have no confidence in myself. Then the 1st thing i do for Paper 1, is to read the letter writing question. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?! The format and type also never learn or see before. So i blended both formal and informal format. When i know that’s what most people did, i felt relieved. Then it was Compo. MADNESS! SOCIAL STUDIES ROCKS!!! MY answer was 60% from Bonding Singapore. I thought i was smart to do that. Until i realised that another geographer did that. What’s worse is he sits infront of me. His index number was before me. Can you imagine the marker marking his paper, and when he or she goes to mine, he or she may penalise me for cheating/copying. HAHAHHAHA. But who cares? Who tell us to be geographers? The question was a revision for SS right..

Paper 2 was WOAH. I FEEL LIKE SCOLDING THE SETTER FOR PRELIM’S AND PAST YEARS’ TESTS. Prelim is difficult like duno what. O level was about sleeping and dreaming? It’s so real life.. And some information were heard of before. Like.. ‘Dreams are the opposites of reality.’ That’s one point for my summary, i hope. =X The 5 vocab words were quite alright. Oh ya! I wanna go check the dicitonary now! (Back from that..) Err i think i only score atmost 1 out of 5. But well, i think it’s my best compre for the whole of upper secondary already. Summary if i have no errors.. 18 points. IF some not counted, hopefully my ‘own words’ part can get some marks.

After that, went to study abit of Emath with Sophia and Jorel. Then there was free ice milo And Mr G’s biscuits. I was quite hungry because 7 hours without food was actually still quite okay with me. HAHA. Honestly, i feel like sleeping during Paper 2. Especially after i’ve finished the 1st 12. I saw the clock and i left 45 minutes. I DID MY SUMMARY DANG SLOWLY. By the time i’ve finished, i left only 15 mins. I was lazy to re-check.. so i didn’t. =X but well, ENGLISH IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! NO MORE ENGLISH NO MORE FORMAT NO MORE STORY BOOKS!!

P.S. I’m very proud of myself that i’ve used some quotes in my compo, it should be my 1st time doing so. And tmr is Emath 1. Not stress because I’VE OVERCOME ENGLISH, MY BIGGEST BURDEN. Stress because i need to get 80% for A1. But it’s okay, if i got practice long time ago, GOD WILL BLESS ME! Even if tmr’s paper would be much more difficult than last year’s, I STILL WANT TO THANK GOD! TGF TGF! There’s always no harm to tgf.

GOOD NIGHT! ALWAYS REMEMBER TO PRAY! I wish everyone Jesus!!

Excuses

Last week of study break. Today was quite okay. Didn’t finish my plans though. I think i kept giving myself excuses that i couldn’t get into AC no matter how hard i try. Then today, i was reminded that if i would replace the time of telling myself i cannot do it, with something more worthy, it would be study. ( RHYMES RHYMES RHYMES!) So i really want to devote my time to study, wisely. I believe i have the stamina to do so. It’s just.. my mood. IF i feel moodless, i won’t be as productive as i should be.

I guess without a proper study group, i have no motivation. But each time i think of the scene of getting back my O lvl results, i imagine myself telling God “I’ve done it!” Then it just brings me back to study. I think i really needs help in Chemistry and Geography. English too. I haven’t touch physics yet, honestly. I scare i start, then i realise i don’t know alot of stuff. I rather not know that i don’t know a lot. Geography siannnnn. The best i can get for Chemistry is b4. That’s why i don’t know to improve. Plus i got more subjects i don’t know as compared to last year. Like chemical calculations, moles, blah blah. I really really want to give in my best for O lvl.

:’( Quite stress now. But i can’t do anything, so i’m trying not to think for the worse. Don’t worry for tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. What’s done has been done. What’s not done yet, DO IT NOW! Focus on your problems, you stumble. Focus on God, your problems would tumble. These are the quotes that i’m still holding on till date.

I really hope tmr will be more productive. I need to start on Geography soon! REAL SOON! Father, help me ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, this paragraph is dedicated to my best friend: Honesty is the best policy, or it’s the only policy. Tell me if i ever say something that has hurt you. So that i can understand you, and you can understand me more. Then there won’t be any misunderstandings. Like the most recent and worst one. Honestly, that week of cold war, i wasn’t feeling good too. Just that i don’t show it. And there’s no point being sad. HAHA. If i must live 5 days in cold war, i’ll live it happily. That’s my principal and probably abit of my strength and weakness Oh crap, i wanted to say something but i forgot. Crap! Alrighty, who cares. When i don’t want to remember it, it’ll auto come back into my mind. So why worry? Yeah!

Okay, i’m ending off now. With the last quote. Those taking O lvls, jia you!

P.S. If the devil can’t destroy you, it’ll distract you. If it can’t distract you, it’ll delay your time. So! I’m not stupid! I won’t fall into the devil’s trap. See me focus not on you, but Our God, you stupid baddie! Get out of my life! Bye!

Time!

TIME IS RUNNING OUT! Tmr it’s friday ardy! So fast!! I thought tmr will be thursday Well, the start of study break, i didn’t give my best, but i didn’t slack my best too. I mean i was studying and take breaks here and there, in between. The best was lunch time. When everyone goes for lunch, it’ll take about 30 minutes – 1 hour. Then after lunch, some would be resting abit or something. Then the momentum is gone.

Tmr we’re left with 10 days to the 1st paper of O lvl. For the 10 to 20 days, i really really wanna be consistent and have the momentum everyday. EVERYDAY! Even Weekends. On Monday, i never thought of going to school early everyday to study. Because i thought everyone would be at home studying. But well, i still go and i’m glad to see at least half the class there studying. It was quite effective. Then Tuesday came, and i was so excited for the organized Captains ball. Then the basketball after that was impromptu. Then came Wednesday, lunch was quite impromptu. Somehow i just love Da-Bao-ed food from opposite and eat in school canteen with my class peeps. Lucky our school canteen doesn’t have the “No outside food allowed” sign. Probably because i love the delivery feel. HAHA. THANKS MAV!

Today.. was quite wasted. In the morning was Mr G.’s lessons, then it was Mr Sim’s lessons. Everything ended at 3.30. Then we went for lunch. We ate and talked for 1 hour plus. (I could have eaten my dinner after that) Haiz, then we went back to school. Since it’s after 4pm, most of the peeps had stopped studying. I guess their plan was to either play basketball or go home after 4pm? I admit i was quite tempted to play, but i really wanna study too. So when i was about to decide to study, everyone was about to leave to go home. I was quite irritated cos abit 扫兴. So in the end i went home.

Guess what? I on the computer.. and i watched one episode of My Queen. While i was eating dinner. Can say i made full use of my dinner time and can say i gave in to temptation. Then i went to find for my entry proof. To find all the dates of exam. Then i realised i got all the dates mixed up. HAIZ! Now i realised I REALLY HAVE NO MUCH TIME LEFT! Today Sophia kept telling me how stressed she was. At 1st i’m not stress de. Then she kept telling me, the more i get irritated. I was wondering why was she so stressful then, when you only need to be stressful on the day or 2-3 days before the Paper? She said i can don’t listen to her complaints, but then i told her she kept telling me. LOL. That’s when i really go and check the dates. It’s coming really near, but i kept telling myself, LET PEACE BE WITHIN ME! EVEN IF I HAVE TO BE STRESSED, ALSO STRESS AFTER THIS STUDY BREAK!

Humanities really alot alot of memorise! Actually, i’m not really scared about the time, but i’m scared of my own ability of memorising. I need someone to test me right after i study, then i’ll probably remember most of it. I guess that’s my study method. I have plans for tmr and the next week. I’m planning not to touch SEQ at all till after the study break. But i’ll use the next week to study Geog. At least that’s the best i can do to help myself.

Tmr, i must complete 3 SBQs, 1 Amath full paper, 1 Emath full paper (optional, do only if i really got nth to do), CHEMISTRY TYS!!!!! I love TYS of chemistry. It just reminds me of last year, the times we had during the study group. I’m glad i used pencil instead of pen. I seriously don’t know i’ll use it this year again. 3 hours + 3 hours + 2 hours = study 8 hours. Then after that i’ll play like mad. I’ll come to school at 8am. I’ll finish by around 5pm? Because it includes Lunch break and some 5-10minutes break in between. I really hope i will follow my schedule and COMPLETE IT! I’ve prepared myself with songs. NICE SONGS TO LAST ME AND HELP ME ENDURE THIS 8 HOURS! Let me introduce the 1st song.

Honestly, this song i didn’t like at 1st. Originally from the Beetles. But after hearing this girl sing, i kinda like it. Her voice quite sweet. HAHA. wait ah.

I Want To Hold Your Hand:

And the second song. The singer is not quite handsome, but i love his songs. Sang by many contestants in Super Idol. The starting of this song ardy dang nice. The chorus even nicer. Most importantly, its lyrics has meaning.

Waiting For You:

The MV super touching right!! I forgot about this MV till i search this song on Youtube. I remember watching the MV on MTV on TV with my siblings. M brother went to dl the song right away. Err that was.. few years ago. HAHA. Okay, overall this song is on my top list now. I LOVE OLD SONGS. I really love old songs more than new ones. Now new ones also no meaning de. Of cos not all la, but most I’m gonna dig out more old songs. ENJOY ENJOY!!

Oh ya, did i mention about studying hard and playing hard? I’m one who studys hard if i can play hard. Getting a chance to play after studying is my motivation and reward. Of cos not play in terms of cards and blah blah. But healthy plays. Like.. BASKETBALL AND FLOORBALL! Yeah! Tmr is Friday for a good thing. After i study for 8 hours, playing for 3 hours. 不会很过分吧.. Alrighty! Good night! CAN’T WAIT FOR TMR!!

STUDY BREAK!

Study break was great! Last day of school was fabulous! Because people are taking more initiative. Nevermind if it’s only the last day then they take initiative. Got heart hao guo mei you. Many photos taken. So much so that my phone has no more memory i have to delete some stuff. Actually, i have a dedication for every single person in my class. But it’s gonna take more than half a day. So i’ll probably do it after O lvls. Since I’ll have all the time in the world to waste.

My main purpose of this post is to share about my life during study break. I think can say that this is the most i’ve ever studied in a day. Around 6 hours? Yeah quite little for the nerds. But it’s not i don’t have the stamina, it’s just that at some period of the time, my class would be noisy. With PSP sound effectives, human sound effectives, card gaming excitment, itouch VS tap tap sounds. Then, i’ll get distractive and don’t feel like doing anything even when i don’t join them.

I still feel the stress. It’s 13 days left! And i still don’t know Science like how i used to know so much during Sec3. Plus, DNT HOW! GEOG HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Geog is the worst. Haiz. I’m seriously, dang scare. I guess i’m scared because i have a goal. A goal that needs alot of time and hardwork. Father help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

LAST DAY!

Tmr is our official last day in Fairfield. I’m both sad and happy. Sad because i’m gonna miss many. Happy because we have come this far together. I won’t know if i will cry. But i know i’ll treasure tmr. Today was my last study time with PP. I will definitely miss her. I feel like writing cards to all. But i know it’s impossible. Wah seh, i’m starting to feel the pain now.

Tmr we’re taking lots of photos. AND I WANNA TAKE WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WHOM I WILL MISS. It’ll be tmr’s objective. I MUST MUST MUST TAKE WITH MR SIM! Plus the netballers! And yay! 4B’s having lunch together at 18chefs! Hope we can all squeeze there! It’s one of our last time bonding together le. I won’t care about guy or girl, as long as it’s Mighty 4Beanz, let’s just talk like there’s no tomorrow. Today our cheer was wonderful. I love the last part. 6 POINTS!~

I was wondering what were all our minds thinking about when 6 points were shouted. Tmr is really the LAST LAST DAY. The last day to see everyone as a class. The last day to be taught by most of our teachers in one day. The last day to get to know those that were not as talkative. The last day to take photos as a class. The last day to eat together. The last day before we sit for Os. Though we’ll have extra lessons and intensive maths camp, today should be the day we treasure the most. 09.10.09. Always remember this date.

Oh there’s another reason why no one should pon school tmr. That is the school is giving us some goodie! I always love gifts from school, because that means we mean something to the school. I HOPE IT’S THE JACKET! Some say it’s not nice in terms of its design, but afterall it’s a fairfield jacket. Not adidas nor nike. It’s just different. If the school gift to us, it’ll be priceless, and no amount of $ can buy that. I doubt any graduates would sell that anyway. Tomorrow, i’ll try to be as early as i can, AND ENJOY MYSELF TO THE FULLEST.

I really thank God for 4B. At the start, i thought it’ll be a crappy class, honestly. But then i learnt to look at you all at a different perspective then i realised how much you guys have impacted my life. I’ll write a dedication another time. I just want to make full use of tmr and not leaving behind any regrets. Father, i pray that all misunderstandings and conflicts and friendship problems and blah blah can be resolved tomorrow! If it did happen, it’ll be a much much bigger impact to anyone. Last words? Not so soon. Because i don’t want today to end yet.

P.S. I wish all the Mighty 4Beanz, Jesus! 6 POINTS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOREL

CHOO & MAVERICKKKKK!

My Cup Overflows (II)

YEAH! MY CUP OVERFLOWS SERIES IS BACK!(:

This post will be about the most recent thing till now. REPORT BOOK! It was a surprise because we only know that we’re getting back our report book on the day itself when they announce in the morning. Hmm, overall i’m happy with my results!

There are some improvements in certain subjects, while there are poor grades in certain subjects. (Comparing to last year’s EOY). 1 of the improvements is Amath. I got c5 for last year, while i got b4 for this year’s prelim. I think it’s only 1% difference but 1% still makes a huge difference! Besides, last year’s Amath did not include Differentiation and Integration. I still remember at the start of this year when Diff and Inte were introduced, i totally skip questions like that, depending on Mr. G all the time. Now i realised, it’s one of the easiest topic to score. I wanna thank God for this. I mean at the start of this year, my Amath really dang lan. Up till now i still don’t know how i managed to understand those topics.

Although i still don’t know how to do area of regions in a graph, i’m sure God will send a teacher to teach me before O lvls. I’m praying steel! I think this time, my Amath is my best of all exams. As for common tests, i’m very inconsistent. I can get Distinction or Failure. [ Talking about common tests reminds me of ZJ's joke -"I've screwed up my common test!" "Don't worry, you still have a rare test." HAHAHAHHHAHAHHA! ] Yeah, i think God has really blessed me so so muchhhhhhh.

My chinese only need 2 more marks to get A2, nevermind if it’s a pity. Because i haven’t touch Chinese for super long since the O lvl chinese, so i can forgive myself. And God helped me so much during the time after i’ve received my Chinese results. He reminded me to get on with life, it’s not as if there’s no 2nd chance. As for English, i’ve deproved. My best was B3 or B4, can’t remember. But well, this prelim i got c5. I really don’t know how to improve English. I really want to get Distinction for once, with my own effort. Father, are you better in Angmoh or Chinese, can You help me in both? Heh, sounds foolish, but i totally trust Your slang. If You can understand my tongues, i’m sure You can help me in other Languages. I TYF!

GUESS WHAT?! Didn’t i mention myself getting A2 for DNT, and i thought it was a mistake, which affected my L1R5? There’s no mistake at all! WHOOOOOOOOO~! I scored 64% for theory, and my coursework pulled me up! TO JUST NICE 70%! I was dang happy! Although it’s 2 grades up, but if you calculate precisely, it’s only 6% difference. That means i really must buck up in my theory in O levels. THERE’S ALOT OF THINGS TO MEMORISE!!

Why i say i mistook that the PPR was wrong was because PT never let us sign our PPR in the 1st place, tts why when it’s shown on the overall PPR, i circled it and expected the person in charge to change it. Then i realised other people also had a different grade from their theory grade. Most of us got pulled up by our coursework. But PT doesn’t want to review how much we score for our coursework alone, and how many % of theory and coursework were calculated. I REALLY WANNA KNOW!! And and, TGA! Thank God Again! He has already done so much to my report book. Who says there’s no point praying even after the teachers had marked the papers. If there’s no point, then what’s is “miracle”?

I never thought i would not count Amath in my L1R5. I expected myself to not count Dnt, but count Chinese and Amath.Whew, now i can have a back up. Either Chinese with DNT, Chinese with Amath, or Amath with DNT. I feel much secure now! TGTG! Oh ya, i saw an A2 for my CCA. I don’t know how that came from. Some have A1, then i thought, how come they got A1 i got A2. Not say we all got participate in CCA this term. I scored 434/700 for overall. Rather bad. And i need 56 more marks to get an average of A2 for each subject. And i estimated that i can only achieve 44 marks out of the 56 marks at O lvls, but i’m wanna break the “curse”! I WANT TO GET BELOW L1R5 13!

This prelim results was quite a motivation. Because it didn’t disappoint me so much that it’ll decrease my morale. And yet encouraged me to work harder, comforted me for my efforts for the improvements. All these credit goes to God. Without God, i guess i really can’t endure this much. What’s more, He was my 2nd choice then. I think it’s when i put him as 1st choice, then i got rid of the obstacles that is stopping me from running back to the right path. I really thank God for not leaving me alone after i’ve forsaken Him months before this. I mean, only He and I knows what exactly happened, yet when those negative stuff happened, He used time to heal me, to purify me again.

Although, i still feel impure at times, I feel secure in His path. Really, nothing can beat that. Not even the best bodyguard, best superman, best parents. My cup just overflows like mad. How i wish i can have a bigger base of a Cup to hold all His blessings. His blessings should not be wasted and go down the drain!

Thy Word:

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

When I feel afraid,
And think I’ve lost my way.
Still, you’re there right beside me.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus by my guide,
And hold me to your side,
And I will love you to the end.

Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
And a light unto my path.
You’re the light unto my path.

I will not forget Your Love for me. And hold me to Your side, and I will Love you to the end. I Love You, I really do.

P.S. I WISH EVERYONE JESUS JUST LIKE HOW I HAVE JESUS TOO!

Updating on “Fasting VS Dieting”

Continued..

My Aunt recently came. She brought alot of food. So long never see snacks in my fridge already. And she bought the PEANUT BUTTER + CHOCOLATE OREO!!! SUPER GOODIE! Yes, i know it’s super super fattening. But it’s my 1st time trying! No harm trying anyway, just add a few grams of fats lo.

I tell you what else she bought. CHOCOLATES CHOCOLATES AND MORE CHOCOLATES. PLUS PLUS JELLY BEANS!! AND BISCUITS! Woah. This whole week, i solely feed on these for recess. I ate bread on Monday, SF’s and Lai’s Cookies on Wednesday, Ego Digestive Biscuit and an apple today! I forgot what i ate on Tuesday le. AND I NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM CANTEEN. NOT EVEN COMBE NOR SOYA BEAN! Power right!

I’m gonna make a record, not to buy anything from Canteen this whole week. Hopefully tmr i won’t break it. And if i failed my dieting plan, that’s my problem. If i failed my fast, its God’s and my problem. Spot the difference. So dieting and fasting is different afterall. Oh well, i’ve learnt my lesson.

Recently, Mr Sim bad mood. I guess just like what Xu Hui says. A king doesn’t care at all, but his servants cared much more than him. The “king” refers to us, while the “servants” refers to our teachers. I think they are much more urgent than us. Whilke we being served, don’t appreciate. Jia you all graduates! As we honour God, let’s honour our teachers too.

Fasting VS Dieting

Hmmm. I wanna make this clear. Last time, i used to think that my diet plan should be God’s plan for me too. OR my dieting = fasting. Something just kept telling me that i shouldn’t mix these 2 tgt. Because the purpose of both is different. The purpose of dieting is for myself. The purpose of fasting is for God’s kingdom.

True that i wanna get rid of the fats, and that i’ve been controlling my diet. But i wanna make a clear boundary of it from Fasting. The diet plan is my plan (Not God’s). I wanna lose weight becos i’m not satisfy duh. And i don’t want to confuse myself, regarding dieting and fasting. And i believe it’s not right to make use of “fasting” to go on a diet. So from now on, i’m gonna separate this two matters. I can still pray about dieting, but i won’t fast for dieting. The dieting plan is below:

1. No fastfood.

2. Only homefood for recess. (Fruits only, from canteen.)

3. Eat half the portion of my usual portion. (Mind you, it’s huge.)

4. No sweet drinks.

5. At most 1 staple food per meal.

6. No chicken. (If i can control =X)

7. No milk, cheese . Must have at least abit of spice if meal is abit oily.

8. Drink Chinese Tea or Lipton Tea whenever i can.

9. Do not eat bread for EVERY recess.

10. No chocolate, sweets, JUNK FOOD etc.

11. Eat slowly per meal.

12. Eat last meal before 7pm.

13. Each meal at least 4 hours apart.

14. Cannot don’t eat, but eat healthily.

15. Drink at least 3 bottles of H2O per day.

Now is the exercising plan:

1. Everyday wake up early to exercise! ( If Nat can wake up at 4.15am to jog, i can wake up at 5.45am to exercise.)

2. Walk as much as i can per day.

3. At least jog thrice per week.

4. Basketball once per week.

5. Run an errand for someone without complaining.

6. Take the longer routes than short cuts whenever i can.

7. Use Clara’s “iGallop” once per week, for 20minutes each. xD

All these plans are similar to fasting because all these need self-control. Same same, but different. Though all are self-control, Dieting and Exercising Plans are to be done by my determination and self-control for my own well-being. While Fasting MUST be done by integrity and self-control for God’s kingdom and my spirituality. Below is my Fasting plan:

1. No fastfood. (to control my own self-control, ever since Daniel’s fast.)

2. Use Computer only after 10pm every day. Except Sunday.

3. Only can watch ZJSG every week. (Because it only will take 1.5hours per week.)

4. Canteen food. (Only Fruits)

5. I only can think of these.

Shall update more tmr. Anyway, today is my brother’s birthday. Up till now he’s not home yet. Haven’t seen him since yesterday. Still, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GARY! Good night!

Thoughts

Some day last week, i was really tired and can you believed it? I slept during Mr Sim’s lessons. And i only closed my eyes for 3 seconds then he called my name already. Embarrassed but was taken aback by how much Mr Sim pays attention to his students even though he has 40! OH MAN. Can’t help but wake myself up and listen to his lessons! The 1st lesson of his lesson after Prelims, is an inspirational talk from him. Showing how much he treasure us and stuff. I was touched. Now i know that to be a geography teacher like him, it’s like a pastor. Spreading God’s creation; spreading the gospel. Those sec2s out there, time for streaming, CHOOSE GEOGRAPHY! You’ll never regret it.

Anyway, i just realised that PS got indonesian food. IT’S SUPER GOOD!!!! I make sure i’ll eat there once a week. I thought only Suntec has. Now i get to eat there at least once a week. I’ll try every set HAHHA.

Oh ya! Good news! I think it’s quite a good news to me. At least, it’s something i’ve been struggling for very long. I’M AIMING FOR AC!! Quite shocking for me and Sophia. She said she wanna follow where ever i go because she too, doesn’t know where to go. Why i choose AC? There are many many reasons. I’ll point them out, but i won’t rank them:

• University
• Their uniform
• I like their Principal
• I want to save someone

At the beginning of the year, i was super sure of aiming for JJ. Because my brother was from it, and it gives me an impression of “not-much-stress” school. Ac didn’t even come into my mind. Becos the 1st thought was “Wah AC, sounds like a ‘rich-kid” school. The cut-off point also quite low. Other schools also got affliation. I DSA also cmi. AND I DON’T WANT TO DSA. MY sec3 EOY results only l1r5 20. Just passed the criteria for getting into a below average JC. Gives me a feeling of a super angmoh school. Where i suck at english. “

Hmmm, in the middle of the year, many suggested poly for me. I had quite a good impression of NP. Becos my sister was from it, just that she didn’t do well. And i was interested in Accountany/ Banking & Finance. But i know Accountancy is very hard. I always thought how lucky is Keith to get to try out JC and then find himself a vacancy so last minute in Banking & Finance. I told my dad that and he said he doesn’t mind me wasting money on JC stuff but in the end head to Poly. He tried at least i can try. But then i know, it’s not easy to just jump to poly, provided that i did well for O lvls.

Right now, nothing can stop me from aiming for AC. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! Though i know i’ll be stressful during this period, but it’s good stress. Though i know even if i managed to squeeze into AC, i’ll be stressful. But as long as there’s God and a party, i definitely can cope. I never believed in not giving a try before i give myself a chance.I don’t believe that i won’t do well when i put in my best for God.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE:

Im not gonna live by what I see,
Im not gonna live by what I feel

Deep down I,
Know that Youre here with me
I know that, You can do anything

Through You,
I can do anything,
I can do all things,
For its You who give me strength,
Nothing is impossible

Through You,
Blind eyes are opened,
Strongholds are broken,
I am living by faith,
Nothing is impossible!

I believe, I believe,
I believe, I believe in You

I’ve been praying hard for this answer. Although i’m still not 100% sure that God wants me to aim for AC. But there’s this person that made me settle that final decision. I know that i need to save that person, and i know i can. I’ve been wanting to save that person since Sec2. I only got to know that person more this year, then i realised how much people needs God yet doesn’t say it out. So God! If this is your will, let your will be done.

Actually, before that, i had thoughts which i think are very stupid right now. At the beginning of the year..

1. If i go poly, i’ll have more time for ministry.

Since Poly only requires you to go for lectures at the supposed time, i can be free in the day, or free in the night for some days. Then, my ministry timings can be flexible too. And i can don’t need CCA too.

2. If i go JC, studying time stop me from being commited to the ministry.

What i heard was that JC is much more stressful than Poly. Your studies just occupies your entire day. Your CCA will requires your commitment too. I won’t have time for ministry.

So i somehow chose Poly. Then few months ago, God reminded me that it’s not the stress and busyness of education. It’s about my heart, my willingness and my availablity. Not say poly more free, more time means i only can give my best to God when i’m in Poly. So this changed my view and i chose JC. I definitely believe now, that even in JC, i still can serve God to my best. So i’m gonna work hard towards my goal. Though i don’t know if God wants me to go University, but i’m still praying. I’ll never stop. Even after i graduate from JC.

Okay change topic. 26.09.09. I saw him. SUPER LONG NEVER SEE HIM LE. He’s still the same physically. But i wonder where’s his Bible & Sermon book now. Once during Evax, i thought i saw someone like him. The guy WALKS like him, TALKS like him, CARRIES his bag like the way he does, AROUND SAME HEIGHT, SAME HAIRSTYLE, WALKING BEAT. Woah, i really mistook that guy for him. I even called Valerie right away. Then i “stalked” him. I wasn’t wearing specs duh. Seeing him at the same lan shop he always visit, makes me wanna visit that lan shop every saturday. I just hope to talk to him, but i don’t know how. And i don’t dare. I guess he still leaves a great impact in my life. I wondered if he’s still with us, is he a shepherd already..?

Back to real life, i have to cut into My Cup Overflows Series for a while because there are more to post about besides my blessings. This post is just my thoughts, most importantly i can tell the world where i’m aiming after O levels. I got like 3 sermon-topics i wanna share about. Including restructuring and more honest stuff.

P.S. I’m back to the slacky mood. MAISIE! MUST WORK HARD FOR YOUR GOAL!! Only i can help myself now. (God helps me silently too! And i appreciate that. THANK GOD!) Alrighty, good night!

My Cup Overflows (I):

OH I FEEL GOOD! NANANANANANANA~!

Have i told anyone how wonderful my days are? HAHA. Excluding those random “emo-ness” which up till now i don’t understand why, my days are WOOOOO~!

I think after collecting all my results, i lived life differently. I tried to plan ahead, though sometimes i didn’t meet them. 1st day of school, I OVERSLEPT. HAHAHHA. I woke up at 7.02 am. My dad forgot that my September holiday ended, so he also forgot to wake me up. So when i suddenly woke up, it was bright morning. I thought it was 8plus am loh. Then i managed to get ready by 7.15am. Cool right! That’s a record of 13 minutes. Yes, i reported in school on the dot, or maybe 1 minute before 7.20am. xD

Anyway, Today i woke up at 7.02am. HAHAH. I shut my alarm without knowing. This time i left house at 7.14am. Fast right! Anyway, last two weeks were great!! Oh, and i haven’t finish my results story.

I’ve mentioned Physics, DNT, Amath, SS. Hmmm, let’s talk about Chemistry. When i collected my chemistry paper, i was shocked, angry and disappointed. I expected a failure, but also not so bad right! I was expect 25-31 / 65. And guess what.. I got 15/65. Ask why i dare to announce to the world my lan results? Because i know it myself that i didn’t work hard for it. When i got it, i raised my paper high. Sophia was shocked then she ask me ” WHY YOU RAISE IT UP? HURRY BRING IT DOWN!” Yes, it is shameful, but i duno why i don’t care if i’m embarrassed or not. I just feel like showing everyone in the auditorium my poor results.

Unless, i study for it, and i get this kind of marks, then i’ll be defeated. If not, i don’t mind letting others know how low i get because i didn’t put in effort at all. Yes, i should feel ashame for not studying, but i don’t see the point to cry over it. I wouldn’t cry for something i didn’t give my best for. I felt angry because i thought i can be near the border line. But i’m far from it. And it really hit me hard. I’m disappointed because 15/65 is like you never take Chemistry as a subject before. I’m guilty because i can imagine Mrs You reaction when she saw my paper. I think she really expected my class to do well. Yet, i gave her a F9. It’s been quite long since i get an F9 for Science.

I think my last f9 for Science was in sec2, when i totally 100% gave up on Science. I really feel that i let Mrs You down. Each time i see her after that, i don’t dare to talk to her like usual. She’s really a very nice teacher, just that she doesn’t know how to discipline a class well. When you’re 1 on 1 with her, you’ll see her real science power(skills)! And OMG! I failed Chem practical.. 4/15. My worst practical of my life. WHO FAILS PRACTICAL MAN!

Then, i calculated my overall Combined Science grade, i got 49%. 1 more % = 2 marks to pass. Then as we were going through Chem Paper 2 (open-ended), the last section i saw 1 mark, 1 mark, 2 marks, 4 marks on the fullscap paper on the right. Yet the overall marks for that page they circled 4. I WAS LIKE “AM I SEEING THINGS?! Then i asked Sophia to check for me, she said “GO GET MARKS FROM TEACHER!” So i went to get from Mrs Lim (if she’s married, i forgot she’s Ms or Mrs =X ). She said “Lucky you check!” Then she changed my marks. I’m surprised she didn’t comment on my low marks. HAHAHA. SO HAPPY!!! I PASSED SCIENCE OVERALL.

I hope to get Chemistry back 1st, then get Physics. Because if i thought i’ll fail physics, and fail Science overall, and get my surprising marks from Physics, I’LL LEAP FOR JOY! I mean physics was a subject i’ve never pass before in an exam. And this time i failed my favourite Chemistry, and miraculously passed my Physics, i can’t thank God more than this! And i told Jang, if i fail my chem and pass my physics, I’LL LAUGH! I’m laughing right now.

Now, Emath! Emath was expected, yet i’m grateful. I believe i can do better. I thank God for this secure subject. And i really don’t want to be complacent, i want to do better for God. Like what people say, you must get at least 80/100 to get A1 for O lvls. I’m working hard for that!

Chinese. Hmm, i got 69%. Sad right.. What i’m afraid is that that’s what i got for Chiense Olvl. If i really get 69%, i think i would cry more than i get 65%. HAHAHAH. Anyway, Chiense Prelims was an experience. After not touching Chiense for so long, i’ve drop abit. But i’m not worried. And i did my 2nd Qing Jing Wen in my whole of Secondary life. I got 37/50. Not too bad, not very good. But i’m grateful for it too. Maybe that’s what i got for O lvls. Who knows? My comprehension deproved like mad. My letter writing was okay. Minus-ed 1 mark for wrong format. HAHA. You can tell i didn’t prepare much for Paper 1.

English.. I got C5. Can’t believe it. I was quite disappointed. Compre was low as usual. Summary was average. Compo and speech were average too. Oral? I forgot. I think it was the Brian Tan one. IF i’m not wrong, then it’s screwed up. C5 was an ugly grade. I expect B4. But oh well, since it’s that grade then that grade loh. I found many story books. I’m gonna read them up! And do some Grammar Revision.

Geography! Oh man. This was the subject, i’m MOST MOST MOST disappointed in and guilty for. Mr Sim like kept telling me i did very badly each lesson before getting back our paper. He said “Maisie, you SS is good, but your geography ah..” Then he shakes his head, sometimes sigh-ing. Okay luh, actually the results not too bad, i failed Geography overall, but my SS pulled me up to border line pass. I’m sure he knows i didn’t study much for Geography. But when he marked, he wrote a mini-note “I’m very disappointed, we have gone through this in class many times!” That was when my heart broke. Haiz, Geography is hard okay! But i’ll work hard. I still thank God for Geography result.

You know.. some people they thank God when they passed, or get the grades they expected. Then when they failed certain subjects or didn’t get grades that satisfy their expectations, they sulked and pull a long face, pondering about it the whole day. Blaming the marker, the paper or even themselves. Then i learnt one thing. Thank God no matter what your circumstances you are in. It’s so easy to blame God and sulk when things didn’t go by your way. I do it sometimes too. But i don’t know why, something kept reminding me to thank God each time i collected my Paper. Once, one of my friend failed one of her subject and she said “I thank God for my results. Woah so sarcastic..” Could tell that she was sarcastic and insincere, at least she admits it.

Sometimes you don’t feel like thanking Him, but when i got my Chemistry paper, i was quite angry at first. And at the end of the day, i realised that God is just testing my gratefulness. He tested me by giving me a 15/65, testing me by making me calculate my overall % which is 49%, then testing me by giving me 4 more marks at the last section, and lastly testing me by giving me an overall 50% at the end of the day. Then i know that i would never be wrong to thank Him. That’s the difference of failing and passing, the difference of 1%, the difference of my gratefulness and faith.

Just wanna encourage those reading this, God put different things in your life for a purpose. Just that you don’t know what is happening next, and when is God’s best timing. You’ll never know that it’s the best timing until it has come to past. God doesn’t want to change your circumstances, He wants to change you.

P.S. Stay tune to My Cup Overflows Series .

My cup overflows, now He rows and rows! :p